Ten friends, six teams. One rule above all: every car must be bought for under one thousand pounds.
Four days across the Midlands, the Cotswolds and the south coast. A sprint course morning, a track day afternoon, the best pubs we could find within range of both, a long lunch at Clarkson's, a proper black tie dinner in Worthing, and a car auction at Shoreham to see what's left of the fleet.
Scoring is unforgiving in places, generous in others, and thoroughly documented below. Prizes for engine size, age, purchase savings, track behaviour, breakdown drama, peer vote, and the eventual auction result. See the rules.
The Banger Rally Rulebook, Chapter I. Points from every category add together. No overall cap.
Reward for buying cheap. Every £10 you spent under the £1,000 cap earns a point. A £300 banger banks 70 before it turns a wheel; a £950 hero starts on 5. It's the first big lever.
Reward for showing up with a big engine. Every 100cc adds a point. A three-litre BMW straight-six starts on 30; a 1.4 diesel Fiesta starts on 14. Encourages you to bring the ridiculous barge you always wanted.
Reward for turning up in something old. One point per year old. A 2001 car scores 25. A 1988 barge scores 38. Rewards patina and character.
How unusual is your car? Judged by group consensus on Wednesday morning at Mercedes Benz World, before we go anywhere. Every car gets slotted into one of five buckets.
Judged concours-style at Shoreham on Saturday, right before the auction. Trip damage counts. Every car goes into one of five grades.
Same five grades, cabin only. Cracked leather, missing switchgear, foot-well McDonald's wrappers, smoke smell — all count against you.
Every driver picks their favourite of the other five cars — not their own. Each vote received is worth 10 points. Vote for the car you'd actually want to drive home yourself. There's a voting panel further down the page.
Thursday morning at the sprint course, top loop only. Every second under 60 gains 5 points; every second over 60 loses 5. A 55-second lap is worth +25; a 65-second lap is worth −25. Actually driving the car matters.
Wednesday afternoon, proper circuit. Same idea, longer benchmark. Every second under two minutes gains 5 points; every second over loses 5. A 1:55 lap: +25. A 2:10 lap: −50.
GPS-tracked top speed on the longest straight, compared to your car's original factory top speed. Hit the factory number, score 50. Every mph you're short takes one point off (never below zero). Favours slow cars — a Fiat Panda at its 89 mph factory top is a lot easier than a BMW M3 at 155.
Flags are prizes, not penalties. The more mayhem you cause on Wednesday afternoon, the more points you rack up. And there's a game-breaker attached: collect at least one of each colour in the session and your entire tally doubles. Cautious drivers can't win this event.
Full house (yellow + red + black): tally × 2.
Cars will break. This category punishes you for it, tiered by severity.
Saturday morning at Shoreham. What the auction sells your car for, minus what you paid. Every £5 profit is worth a point; every £5 loss costs a point. Buying well pays twice — once in savings, once at the hammer.
Up to 100 points for turnout, theme, livery, costume, storytelling. Judged by group consensus at the end. In Alex's earlier version, not in Steve's spreadsheet. Awaiting reconciliation.
For any team of two who are sharing a car, both entrants must be in the car during timed events — the Curborough sprint and the Donington lap. No swapping to the lighter driver for the fast lap while the other watches from the pit wall. The idea is that any weight or handling penalty you signed up for by pairing up applies to your scoring laps.
The solo entrants (Ryan and Seb) are exempt from this rule, since asking them to double up on their own laps would be difficult.
Highest combined track score wins the tie. Still level? Fewest reliability points.
Thinking of a car? Plug in the spec and see what it scores before the trip. This only includes the fixed inputs (price, engine, age, factory top). Everything else — track, votes, style, reliability, auction — happens on the trip.
Fill in your team card. Everything updates the leaderboard live and saves to this browser. v1 stores data locally per device; a shared version with a Cloudflare Worker + KV backend is on the way.
Cast your vote for the car you'd most want to drive home. You can't vote for your own. Each vote received is worth 10 points to the target team. v1 stores your vote on this device — the shared multi-user version arrives with the Cloudflare backend.
Cream slacks. Silk cravats. Safari jackets. Blazers with piped edges. Loafers, not trainers. A white dinner jacket for Ebb on Friday.
Cars can lean in as much or as little as they like. Style points, if we're counting them, reward those who commit.
References: Bond safari suits, Lord Brett Sinclair in The Persuaders, the ivory dinner jacket in Octopussy.